Picture Perfect

The Path

      I took a deep breath of the crisp fall air and put one foot in front of the other. As i walked for a minute or so, I stopped. I remembered everything I had done to get to this point. Cleaning myself up, finding a good job, finally recovering from my addictions and finding a house to call my own. The past two years I have hell, but triumphant and rewarding to say the least. 27 was no age for falling out hair and rotted teeth with freckled, wrinkled skin and clothes that 60 year old men wear. 27 was the age for exploring, discovering new foreign surrounding me. 27 was the time for maturity and strength. 27 was the perfect age to settle down with a lover and a child in a nice house with that white picket fence and a few big maple trees in the front yard. Somewhere along the way, I got lost. I wish I hadn't, but I lost everything. With my new life ahead of my, my clean body and mind, and success in the future, I was ready for this moment. I was ready to finally be able to meet my 7 year old daughter. She was up this path. Maybe she had waited for me. Maybe she had wondered where I was or if I thought of her often, I did. The only thing between my daughter and I, the future and I, success and I was the path. I opened my eyes widely and took two steps forward. I began my new journey, my new path.  

Love

We walked down to the lake every Sunday after dinner in the early summer, so I thought today was nothing new. Boy, was I wrong. “I love it! I love it! It’s so beautiful again. It makes me so happy” she yelled and giggled as she ran down by the water. She stopped once she got to the very edge of the lake, amazed by the sky. Off in the distance were the greenest of trees looked black from here. The sky was painted light blue, fading into a lighter purple the a bright yellow with pink streaks everywhere. All this beauty reflecting off the water, washing out anything in the world besides the sky and the water. Instead of running beside her, I watched her. I loved the way her hair fell past her shoulders and down her back. Her legs tan and long and her waist tiny. She watched the world with gleam in her eyes and freedom reigning strongly within her precious soul. Her lips pouted and her neck was slender, fitting her small body with a few curves. She was beautiful. As I watched her, mesmerized by the world, I thought to myself This Is Love.

Money

Through his whole life, he had one strong belief. Money is power. Growing up lacking money is a community filled with wealthy people, he felt inferior his during his childhood to all of his wealthy friends and neighbors. After moving, find a lover and having children, he knew it was his time for success. He work everyday and every night in a mediocre job he reluctantly took. He ate breathed and slept money. He paid no attention to his family or his new found love, but his drive of fortune drove him insane. Losing sleep every night, losing appetite every morning and solely focusing  on his possible wealth. One day, when he would not stop working toward money, he realized everything he had was gone. His love was gone. His children were gone. His sanity was gone. His heart, his brain, his body, his soul were all gone. He was empty but wealthy. Was is worth it? The many hours away leading to losses, the sacrifices, were they all worth it? The man sat in his chair, looked around at everything in the room, and frowned. Was this worth is? He thought to himself and sat quietly for a moment. A rich man with a poor man’s soul. I still have my money.

August in New York TEST

I watched everyone file in through the window of my dressing room. I became so nervous. Seeing everyone, all my friends and my family, I felt scared for my life. I was not scared to marry him, not even a little. He was perfect to me. His goofy personality and his charming smile made me feel lucky every single day. I wanted a family, children, that white picket fence, and even maybe a dog, but I was still nervous for the future. People change every second, reinventing themselves and refining what they think needs improvement. I loved him the way he was, but what if he didn’t? What if he changed the things I loved? What if we grew apart like so many beautiful couples do? I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Seeing my friends and family come to watch this beautiful ceremony, my heart fluttered. This would be the most exciting moment of my life. This would change my life forever. I did not feel a sense of letting my freedom go because we could be free together like we always had. We could run our lives like the characters in her favorite books. We could do everything we wanted to. Wow I love her.  It was time for me to walk now. I held up my dress, looked in the mirror for a second, and exited my room. My heart pounded faster than I was blinking. I felt nauseous, but happy to begin a new chapter. I began thinking again. What if we don’t have a nice house? What if we never have kids? What if I wasn’t ready for all of this yet? Maybe we needed another year. I stopped myself for a second and took a breath. I was ready for this. I proceeded to walk. As soon as she stepped on the aisle, my eyes grew and my heart melted. I felt my jaw drop. She was so beautiful. Her long white dress and her loosely curled hair was so different from her usual wavy hair and jean with a t shirt look. She was always beautiful to me, but this was different. She was type of beautiful most people didn’t see the first time they look at a person. She valued art and music and the Earth and love and peace. She was a bit of a hippy to me, but I loved it. She was amazing. Flawless. I looked at Mike as I stepped into the room. I felt a smile grow, but I contained it. He was smiling at me, wide eyed and glistening like they always did when he got excited about something. My nerves eased and my heart warmed. I felt certain about everything now. Everything was perfect. I had thought of this since I was a little boy. Marrying a beautiful woman and settling down with her seemed like a dream to me. 23 seemed too young for everyone else, but you know when you know. I sure as hell knew that this was right. The second I saw Summer I knew I loved her. Her effortless beauty and her artistic flare interested me. She was so different. I remembered the first time Mike and I saw each other. It was August in New York. The weather was warm, but we met in a coffee shop. We looked at each other and smiled. I sat down and he sat next to me. He introduced himself. The rest is purely history.

Trees TEST

I lay down between a woods filled with sharp twigs and tall trees with leaves and foliage filling the sky, and any possible visibility of a cool blue sky and vibrant sun to warm my face as I am so far away from it. Shaded and cooled within the dead grass and crisp leaves, I begin to stare up at the trees. They towering over me.They are so big, so tall and strong. They are a bit intimidating from their roots looking toward their leaves. They are all alike from this view. Of course, some are taller than others, leafier than others, some dark deep green and brown but some vibrant and sunny yellow with red and splashes of other colors mixed in too. Some dripping in sap or occupied by a mother animal and her children. Although these difference are clear, they are all similar in some qualities. They all stand tall and proud, never bending or breaking for any reason other than their ultimate death. Isn’t that interesting? Never being unsure of yourself, never wondering what is beneath you and never worrying about where you initially came from. They go strictly in one position, upward. They look to the sky for what they have not yet reached. They grow forward the heavens, never revisiting what they have already known or experienced. They stay with their surrounding equals who grow as well, never waiting up for anyone who will not grow with them or has aspirations to reach the height of their full potential. Trees never fall to their circumstances or possible bad surroundings. Through storms, snow and sunshine, they strictly stand tall and firmly. Even when they are first sprouted or dying, they remain a natural force. When it it their final day, they do what is rarely done; they fall. Maybe we can all learn something from a tree; to grow and only go up as we live, and never bend or break for anything until we die.

Nana

From the day June was born, Nana took her as she was. June’s mother was arrested the day she was born due to illegal drug addictions and her dad was never anywhere to be found. Her nana took as right from her mother’s arms and raised her to be one thing; herself. June was very different. She liked punk rock, tattoos, piercings and just about everything an elderly woman would not expect. Although she loved her nana very much, she could not ditch her passions for her. June and nana would sit on the porch every night and talk about something they loved. Although June’s was usually a boy or a band, nana’s was always the same thing. She said every night that she loved June the very most.  When June found out her nana was sick, she was devastated. She would get out of school everyday and go right to the hospital to visit her. Her last day, she spoke clearly and quietly to June so she would understand and always remember her last words. She began to speak with a little trouble, but she said “June, I want you to remember everything in the past 17 years we have done together. We have eaten countless meals, traveled the world, grown plants, read books, watched movies, listen to music, some songs better than others, gone shopping, and at the end of every day, sat out on the porch, rain or shine, and said one thing we loved. Every day I am here and every day I am gone, my daily love will always be you. Through our fights, frustrations, stresses, troubles, good days, bad days, laughs and cries, my daily love will always be you without exception. You have made me a better woman and you have kept me young all these years. Thank you for that, June. You have been my sunshine.” After that, she laid back and closed her eyes. Nana was dead and June left without a word. Approaching her house, she parks and stepped out. She sat on the porch and thought of all the days she had sat here. She heard her nana’s voice in the back of her mind speaking sweetly My daily love is you.